Shrill by Lindy West (2016)

Subtitled Notes from a Loud Woman, this collection of essays is about West's public life as a journalist, her coming into her own, her fight to get people to realize that rape jokes can be hurtful, and her coming to terms with her struggles with her weight and her realization that she is not her size--and her fight with internet trolls who disagree with her on all of these points.

It's genius. She's hilarious and heart-breaking and tough and amazing. This should be taught in all Feminism 101 classes. Also, there should be Feminism 101 classes.

Some bits I loved:

"Please don't forget: I am my body. When my body gets smaller, it is still me. When my body gets bigger, it is still me. There is not a thin woman inside me, awaiting excavation. I am one piece. I am also not a uterus riding around in a meat incubator. There is not substantive difference between the repulsive campaign to separate women's bodies from their reproductive systems--perpetuating that lie that abortion and birth control are not healthcare--and the repulsive campaign to convince women that they and their body size are separate, alienated entities. Both say, 'Your body is not yours.' Both demand, 'Beg for your humanity.' Both insist, 'Your autonomy is conditional.' This is why fat is a feminist issue." (p. 15) 

And: 

"Whale is the weakest insult ever, by the way. Oh, I have a giant brain and rule the sea with my majesty? What have you accomplished lately, Steve?" (p. 254)

STEVE. 

The Prince of Los Cocuyos by Richard Blanco (2014)

Richard Blanco is best known as a poet. He was the fifth inaugural poet in the US, and the youngest, first Latino, immigrant and gay person to be chosen as an inaugural poet. His memoir is about growing up in a vibrant, Cuban-American extended family and community in Miami. 

Much of his youth was spent divided between two almost imaginary worlds: The Cuba that his family left behind and idealize and the equally idealized America he saw on television shows like the Brady Bunch. He struggled between the two, not really belonging fully to either, despite his best efforts to teach his family American ways.

Here's a telling bit from a family road trip to Disneyland:

“Mama stepped inside slowly and cautiously scanned the crowd like a dumbfounded senorita Dorothy in the land of los americanos. No one looked Cuban, much less felt Cuban; none of the men smelled like cigars, none of the women had their hair up in rollers, and no one was kissing anyone on the cheek or yelling to each other across the room. There wasn’t a single word of Spanish in the air and all the signs were in English only. Mama and Papa were at our mercy.”

Blanco writes of his childhood with humor and affection, and yet quite clear-eyed realism, particularly as he learns about himself and his sexuality.

How to Be a Heroine, or, What I've Learned From Reading Too Much by Samantha Ellis (2015)

I love this book so much I can barely write coherently about it. Hence, much love and little rational explanation. It's just one of the best books on books and reading ever.

Samantha Ellis is a British playwright who as part of her own writing spends some time thinking about how the literary heroines that she loved through her lifetime as a reader have influenced her life and her writing. 

From Anne Shirley to Scarlett O'Hara, Franny Glass and the Dolls of Valley of the Dolls, (oh, and Lucy Honeychurch!) this book is filled with so much love for reading and with a deliciously full bibliography for each chapter. 

I love her rethinking of her youthful love for Wuthering Heights and her disdain for Jane Eyre, and especially that she uses Gilbert and Gubar's feminist literary criticism classic The Madwoman in the Attic as a source. (I studied that up and down when writing my senior paper on Jane Austen's Emma.) And I love her love for Cold Comfort Farm. 

This is very meta, but bear with me. Ellis is writing about Flora Poste in Cold Comfort Farm and quotes from the novel:

"Her writing inspiration is Austen, who she thinks was just like her: 'She liked everything to be tidy and pleasant and comfortable about her, and so do I. You see ... unless everything is tidy and pleasant and comfortable all around one, people cannot even begin to enjoy life. I cannot endure messes.'"

Delicious!

Whipping Boy by Allan Kurzweil (2015)

Subtitled The Forty-Year Search for my Twelve-Year-Old Bully, I loved this book immediately.  

Novelist Allen Kurzweil, who was sent to a Swiss boarding school after his father's untimely death, was bullied by another student. In adulthood, he became obsessed with figuring out what happened to his childhood tormentor. Amazingly, what happened to his bully is so unbelievable that Kurzweil had to make it a nonfiction book--no one would believe it if it was a novel. 

His bully was part of a fraud ring that involved elaborate banking scams, and amazingly eccentric character--one wears a monacle! After a bit of a digression into the details of the fraud case, he returns to the resolution of his emotionally charged quest. And the resolution is really, really satisfying. Great story.

Gabriel: A Poem by Edward Hirsch (2014)

Lovely memoir in poetry about Edward Hirsch's son, who passed away from an overdose. 

The poem starts at Gabriel's funeral and goes through his death as well as Gabriel's very troubled life. Lyrical and sad, and very thoughtful about grief.

I adore this quote:

"I did not know the work of mourning
Is like carrying a bag of cement
Up a mountain at night ….
Look closely and you will see
Almost everyone is carrying bags
Of cement on their shoulders
That's why it takes courage
To get out of bed in the morning
And climb into the day." (p. 73)

Sad Monsters by Frank Lesser (2011)

Loved, loved, loved, loved this adorable collection of short, humorous pieces on monsters subtitled: Growling on the Outside, Crying on the Inside.  

I especially loved it because I had just skimmed John Moe's awful book: Dear Luke, We Need to Talk, which is every bit as unfunny as his work on the radio show Wits. Sad Monsters, however, is everything that book wanted to be.  

This collection is filled with short vignettes that perfectly live up to their titles and premises, such as Missed Possessions (Missed Connections for succubi), His Fangs Just Aren't That Into You, Giant Ape Class-Action Lawsuit, and The Passive-Aggressive Monster in the Closet.  

SO so so clever and funny, and presented in a charming variety of different forms, from diaries to letters to court transcriptions, accompanied by adorable illustrations by Willie Real. Oh, and I can't forget the notes from The Roommate of Dorian Gray.  Fabulous!  So many funny funny lines.  LOVE.

I See You Made an Effort by Annabelle Gurwitch (2014)

Subtitled: Compliments, Indignities and Survival Stories from the Edge of 50, this is a hilarious and poignant collection of essays about aging.

Gurwitch is not just funny, but a great comic craftsperson.  She doesn't go for the easy joke--she stays true to her story. I loved the mental affair she had with her Apple Genius, all the way down to the best position to have the most flattering sex (rock climbing wall for best gravity defiance, wrap dress for flattering and easy access). 

Struggling with cancer, being part of the sandwich generation, living in Los Angeles, and many more topics of interest to those of us who are feeling the effects of age are all covered in this collection.  If you like her sense of humor (and you should), check out this, check out her excellent Fired! Tales of the Canned, Canceled, Downsized, and Dismissed (2006).

What I'd Say to the Martians: And Other Veiled Threats by Jack Handey (2008)

Oh man, I LOVE Jack Handey.

He is the perfect, miniaturist, humorist with perfect petite humorous essays. And I love the call-forwards to The Stench of Honolulu with Doctor Ponzari and his friend Don. 

I love Handey's crazy, crazy world. And his humor is like perfectly crafted little jewel boxes. And there's a gem on every danged page.

That's all there is to say.  

How to Be a Woman by Caitlin Moran (2011)

So utterly utterly utterly loved this book.

I saw this collection of essays by Moran in bookstores all over London and wanted to buy it then but suitcase space didn't permit. When it FINALLY came in for me at the library and I started reading it, I loved it instantly. 

So funny, so charming, so realistic, and she is so awesome on women's issues. I love her diatribes about reclaiming the term "strident" (not to mention feminist) and stopping waxing. Love her!!! Caitlin Moran is smart and funny and my new heroine.

Followed by the equally wonderful Moranthology, which for me was the perfect book at the perfect time. Returning from an awesome trip to NYC, I was consoled by coming home and reading this tremendously fun, funny and endearing collection of Moran's essays. Lighter than How to Be a Woman, but still fabulous. Essays about Sherlock, Downton, the Royal Wedding, poverty and being a woman--all amazing. LOVE her.

Private Demons: The Life of Shirley Jackson by Judy Oppenheimer (1988)

Shirley Jackson is one of my Adored Authors.  She was a fascinating writer and was an even more fascinating person.

Her short stories and novels are uncanny and unsettling, while also being dryly humorous. Her domestic, humorous stories are completely delightful as well and give no indication of her being anything more than an ordinary, frazzled housewife--certainly not the well-regarded writer that she was. 

This book about her life tells her story vividly. She was incredibly complex psychologically, and lived her life to the fullest in some ways (drinking, smoking, socializing, eating) and not to others (borderline agoraphobia).  Plus, her relationships with her husband and her children--fascinating.  I loved reading about her life as an author, particularly the response to The Lottery when it was printed in the New Yorker.  To this day, it generated more mail than any other story before or since (at least in 1988 it did).

I loved these quotes that, for me, sum up why Jackson's work is so compelling to me:

"It was Shirley's genius to be able to paint homey, familiar scenes like this, and then imbue them with evil--or, more correctly, allow a reader to see the evil that had been obvious to her all along, even in sunny Burlingame. One felt the presence of a grinning skull behind the cover of surface gentility, homemade biscuits, shining floors, and this is what made the tales to disturbing. Shirley never had to search for exotic locales or strange characters. You see, her stories seemed to nudge lightly, insistently at the reader, it was right here, right in front of you all the time." (p. 101)

And:

"That feeling Shirley could give readers--that the earth had suddenly slipped out from under them--worked just as well for hilarity as for terror, it turned out.)  (p. 120)

"King [Stephen, of course], in fact, dedicated one of his books, Firestarter, 'to Shirley Jackson, who never had to raise her voice.'"

Beautifully said, Steve!

How to Get Divorced by 30 - Sascha Rothchild (2010)

Surprisingly engaging memoir (subtitled My Misguided Attempt at a Starter Marriage). Outlines in chapters the various steps she semi-unwittingly went through to get divorced by 30 (including "Keep Your Belongings Separate", "Include Your Spouse in a Performance Where You Read Off Your List of Sexual Partners", and "Marry an Actor."

Rothchild, a struggling writer living in L.A. who married a struggling actor, has a lovely, dry sense of humor, and a realistic, healthily critical self-image (she includes quotes from her "self-indulgent" diaries).

 What I loved about this book, besides its insightful look at love and romance and what we tell ourselves we want and need, is that I ended up actually wanting to know more about her. Often, with memoirs, I'm like, enough already--I don't need to know any more about your grandmother, your birth or your sixth-grade teacher.  But her home life (as well as her romantic life) is really fascinating, with a strangely detached mother and siblings who we don't get to know well enough. And we only get little glimpses of it, as well as her semi-turbulent childhood. I love leaving a memoir wanting more! Plus, it is really funny.

How Reading Changed My Life by Anna Quindlen (1998)

This is a lovely volume that includes Quindlen's thoughtful writing on the meaning of books and reading in her life and in society. There's no better argument for the pure pleasure of leisure reading out there.  She also includes some fun reading lists, like "10 Books That Will Help a Teenager Feel More Human," "10 Mystery Novels I'd Most Like To Find in a Summer Rental," and "10 Modern Novels That Made Me Proud To Be a Writer." 

Why is My Mother Getting a Tattoo? by Jancee Dunn (2009)

Subtitled And Other Questions I Wish I Never Had to Ask, this is a collection of essays on family and friends that are laugh out loud funny, and poignant. I suspect that Jancee and I might be the same person, which of course, just makes me love her more.  See also her hilarious memoir But Enough About Me.

Crackpot by John Waters (1986)

Collection of absolutely hilarious personal essays. Includes two essays that I love so much I'd like to have them embroidered on (really large) samplers:   “101 Things I Hate" and “101 Things I Love.”  Other standout essays include "Ladies and Gentlemen . . . The Nicest Kids in Town!", the essay that the movie and musical Hairspray was based on.  A fascinating look inside Waters's head.

Helping Me Help Myself by Beth Lisick (2008)

Subtitled One Skeptic, Ten Self-help Gurus, and a Year on the Brink of the Comfort Zone.  Despite the "I bet I can get a book out this" premise, Lisick's book about spending a year learning from the top self-help pros was most enjoyable. Witty and affectionate, the standout chapter was about her cruise with Richard Simmons.

Never Hit a Jellyfish with a Spade by Guy Browning (2004)

Subtitled How to Survive Life's Smaller Challenges, this is one of those kooky books that I just lucked on to on the library shelves.  This is a collection of "how to" essays that Browning wrote for the Guardian, filled with comic gems. He has a very funny, very dry, very British sense of humor.  Hilarious.

Holidays on Ice by David Sedaris (1997)

David Sedaris has made his fortune on writing hilarious essays about his childhood, family, relationships and life. This one collects his best holiday essays including The Santaland Diaries.  See also Me Talk Pretty One Day, Naked and Barrel Fever as well.   (But that's it.  I think he ran out of material after that.)

The Secret Life of the Lonely Doll by Jean Nathan (2004)

This biography is a hidden gem.  If you've ever looked at the children's picture book series called The Lonely Doll and were a little taken aback, this book is for you.  Subtitled The Search for Dare Wright, this is a thorough and compelling biography of the woman who wrote the creepy and depressing Lonely Doll books.

Alison Lurie - Adored Author

I adore Alison Lurie. She takes what could be the dryest subjects--like Truth and Consequences, about an academic administrator and her injured but philandering professor husband--and makes them fascinating with her strong characters and her excellent insights into relationships and character.  Foreign Affairs is about a fifty-four year old English professor traveling to London to study children's playground rhymes.  Lurie is a master of social comedy, and her books have a very Austen feel.  Vinnie Miner is such a complex and fascinating character, and I adore all of her insights into life as a older, unmarried woman.   See also Women and Ghosts, a collection of vivid, spooky tales, each featuring a woman and a ghost. And Don’t Tell the Grown-ups:  The Subversive Nature of Children’s Literature-you’ll never look at Peter Pan or Kate Greenaway the same way again.

Imagined London by Anna Quindlen (2004)

Subtitled A Tour of the World's Greatest Fictional City, this is a great little book about London as seen through its fictional denizens as well as its real-life ones. Quindlen didn't go to London until she was in her forties, and this book explores what she expected to find from all the literature she'd read set in London, as well as what she actually found when she got there.  Great fun, Quindlen. Now write one about New York City!