Choose Your Own Disaster by Dana Schwartz (2018)

Hilariously and descriptively subtitled: A. A Memoir, B. A Personality Quiz, C. A Mostly True and Completely Honest Look at One Young Woman's Attempt to Find Herself, D. All of the Above.

This millennial memoir is written in a cute Choose Your Own Adventure style and the writing transcends the gimmick. Quirky look at being in one's twenties and modern feminism.

Schwartz gained fame as the creator of @GuyInYourMFA on Twitter and I'm adding her book The White Man's Guide to White Male Writers of the Western Canon to my read-now list. 

Can't Help Myself by Meredith Goldstein (2018)

I was listening to Goldstein's podcast called Love Letters, and decided to check out her book. Despite being a single woman unlucky in love, Goldstein began writing an advice column at the Boston Globe, which took off. Two things I love: romance and giving advice.

A nice blend of advice letters and her answers, combined with a memoir about her unluckiness in love and her mother's death from cancer. A bit slight but well-done.

You'll Grow Out of It by Jessi Klein (2016)

Memoir in short essay form by comedy writer and comedian Jessi Klein. Very funny essays on a range of topics from getting older, dating, Anthropologie, The Bachelor, infertility and becoming a stand-up comedian. 

This list makes it sound a bit vapid, but it's quite funny and truthy and clear-eyed. Delightful, really!

From the (Dating) Types essay: 

"Noses are of key importance. I need a large nose. Something with a bump. I cannot abide a small nose on anyone, really--men or women. I need the kind of nose that suggests some sort of Jewish/Italian/Greek/African influence. The kind of nose that says, 'At some point in the history of my people, we were forced to flee.'" (p. 94)

LOVE it.

Encyclopedia of an Ordinary Life by Amy Krouse Rosenthal (2005)

Jeepers, I loved this book.

Amy Krouse Rosenthal should get paid super extra for this book, because even the rights page has hilarious bits: "Not responsible for the weather, the moon, or scalding nature of soup." 

And the Reader's Agreement on the first page, which includes the line: "At the end of each page, you agree to thrust your arms upward and emit a loud, staccato Hey! Just like circus performers do at the end of each stunt." 

Then, we get to the book. Here's a tip: Skip the Orientation Almanac, which gives historical context for Rosenthal's entries. You can read it when you're done and she's endeared herself to you. Same with Evolution of This Moment. Skip right to the good stuff: The Alphabetized Existence, which includes so many true and hilarious entries that there's no way I could possibly put all my favorites here. 

The entries are hilarious as well as charts like the Good to Bad Mood flow chart; Anxious, Things That Make Me; and Childhood Memories: Chronology of Events, which includes What My Childhood Tasted Like.  

A few choice bits: 

Brother
My brother, who grew up with three sisters, was I won't say how many years old when he finally realized that he did not have to wrap the towel around his chest when he came out of the shower. 

Slow/Fast 
I am a slow reader and a fast eater; I wish it were the other way around. Even the back cover is fabulous, which includes 

Book, standing in the bookstore holding a: 
To get a true sense of the book, I have to spend a minute inside. I'll glance at the first couple pages, then flip to the middle, see if the language matches me somehow. It's like dating, only with sentences.

Fabulous, hilarious, true, poignant, wonderful.

Big Little Man: In Search of My Asian Self by Alex Tizon (2014)

Alex Tizon is a Pulitzer-Prize winning journalist, formerly for the Los Angeles Times and Seattle Times. He and his family immigrated from the Phillipines when he was a young boy, when he quickly realized that American culture stereotyped Asian men in extremely negative ways. 

At age fourteen, he started keeping files of whenever he ran across something related to Asians—mostly race and manhood and power and sex, he would make a note and file it away. It ended up being two file cabinets full of "evidence" that he had no idea what to do with until many years later, this book.

In this book, he explores the many depictions of Asians in popular culture, and how they affected his own identity. In addition to his own experiences, he travels across the world to rediscover Asian explorers, warriors and great leaders, Asian men throughout history who have been forgotten or ignored by American history books.

This is a candid, engaging and incredibly illuminating memoir that covers a subject that isn't covered much in popular culture: sex and the Asian male.

Stand Up Straight and Sing! by Jessye Norman (2014)

Jessye Norman became famous in the world of opera, but now considers herself to be a singing artist. She has won Grammys, the National Medal of the Arts, and a Kennedy Center Honor. 

She grew up in Augusta, George in the 1940s, a time when the deep South was still segregated. Her parents were active in civil rights issues and race was always at the forefront in her childhood. Her parents spoke of illustrious African American leaders as if they knew them personally, and they felt as close as family.

"I learned about race discrimination and America's system of apartheid long before my first day of school... Jim Crow was hard to miss in Augusta in the 1950s and 60s. It was written in bold block letters above the water fountains and the phone booths and the public restrooms. It was on signs above the waiting areas at the train station and the restaurants and convenience stories, too; WHITES ONLY. COLORED ONLY. The schools were segregated, as were the churches, and the neighborhoods of Augusta were defined clearly along racial lines. There was absolutely no way the message could be ignored, especially for a curious little girl who had learned to read rather early."

Norman's writing is stately and majestic—even when describing the many incidents of racism that have affected her life. From Augusta, Georgia to the less-than-inclusive world of grand opera, this is a fascinating book.

The Prince of Los Cocuyos by Richard Blanco (2014)

Richard Blanco is best known as a poet. He was the fifth inaugural poet in the US, and the youngest, first Latino, immigrant and gay person to be chosen as an inaugural poet. His memoir is about growing up in a vibrant, Cuban-American extended family and community in Miami. 

Much of his youth was spent divided between two almost imaginary worlds: The Cuba that his family left behind and idealize and the equally idealized America he saw on television shows like the Brady Bunch. He struggled between the two, not really belonging fully to either, despite his best efforts to teach his family American ways.

Here's a telling bit from a family road trip to Disneyland:

“Mama stepped inside slowly and cautiously scanned the crowd like a dumbfounded senorita Dorothy in the land of los americanos. No one looked Cuban, much less felt Cuban; none of the men smelled like cigars, none of the women had their hair up in rollers, and no one was kissing anyone on the cheek or yelling to each other across the room. There wasn’t a single word of Spanish in the air and all the signs were in English only. Mama and Papa were at our mercy.”

Blanco writes of his childhood with humor and affection, and yet quite clear-eyed realism, particularly as he learns about himself and his sexuality.

Fire Shut in My Bones by Charles Blow (2014)

“I looked over at the rusting pistol on the passenger seat. It was a .22 with a long black barrel and a wooden grip. It was the gun my mother had insisted I take with me to college “just in case.” I had grabbed it from beneath my seat when I jumped into the car. I cast glances at it as I drove. I had to convince myself that I was indeed about to use it.”

This memoir, by a columnist for the New York Times, is about growing up poor, African-American and sexually conflicted in a small, segregated town in Louisiana.

Blow shares his rich family history, the vibrant characters and vignettes from his childhood, which felt so out of time I had to keep reminding myself we were born the same year. This mesmerizing, gripping memoir follows him into college and interning for the New York Times, which brings us to the beginning of the book. 

So does he use the gun? Read the book and find out.

How to Be a Heroine, or, What I've Learned From Reading Too Much by Samantha Ellis (2015)

I love this book so much I can barely write coherently about it. Hence, much love and little rational explanation. It's just one of the best books on books and reading ever.

Samantha Ellis is a British playwright who as part of her own writing spends some time thinking about how the literary heroines that she loved through her lifetime as a reader have influenced her life and her writing. 

From Anne Shirley to Scarlett O'Hara, Franny Glass and the Dolls of Valley of the Dolls, (oh, and Lucy Honeychurch!) this book is filled with so much love for reading and with a deliciously full bibliography for each chapter. 

I love her rethinking of her youthful love for Wuthering Heights and her disdain for Jane Eyre, and especially that she uses Gilbert and Gubar's feminist literary criticism classic The Madwoman in the Attic as a source. (I studied that up and down when writing my senior paper on Jane Austen's Emma.) And I love her love for Cold Comfort Farm. 

This is very meta, but bear with me. Ellis is writing about Flora Poste in Cold Comfort Farm and quotes from the novel:

"Her writing inspiration is Austen, who she thinks was just like her: 'She liked everything to be tidy and pleasant and comfortable about her, and so do I. You see ... unless everything is tidy and pleasant and comfortable all around one, people cannot even begin to enjoy life. I cannot endure messes.'"

Delicious!

Confessions of a Prairie Bitch by Alison Arngrim (2010)

Subtitled: How I Survived Nellie Oleson and Learned to Love Being Hated. If you looked at the cover of this, with its four shots of Nellie Oleson (who Arngrim played on Little House on the Prairie), and thought, what does she have to write a memoir about ….Let me tell you. Far more than you might ever think.

From complicated family relationships involving secrets and abuse, life as a child actor and beyond, and her years on the beloved family show Little House on the Prairie, Arngrim has a hell of a story to tell. 

Every bit of the story is infused with utter hilarity, while still being unbelievably realistic and clear-sighted and honest. Amazing. Hilarious and delightful and poignant.

So That Happened by Jon Cryer (2015)

Really, really liked this memoir of Cryer's experience in Hollywood. SO funny. 

Many laugh-out-loud moments as well as a great amount of humility and behind the scenes dish and insight into what life is like as a Hollywood actor and theater actor as well. Fabulously fun. SO many funny parts. For example:

 "Beginnings are easy. See how I did that? I began the chapter with a statement about beginnings. This book has layers! Being an author is a cinch! In your face, Herman Melville." (p. 111)

Whipping Boy by Allan Kurzweil (2015)

Subtitled The Forty-Year Search for my Twelve-Year-Old Bully, I loved this book immediately.  

Novelist Allen Kurzweil, who was sent to a Swiss boarding school after his father's untimely death, was bullied by another student. In adulthood, he became obsessed with figuring out what happened to his childhood tormentor. Amazingly, what happened to his bully is so unbelievable that Kurzweil had to make it a nonfiction book--no one would believe it if it was a novel. 

His bully was part of a fraud ring that involved elaborate banking scams, and amazingly eccentric character--one wears a monacle! After a bit of a digression into the details of the fraud case, he returns to the resolution of his emotionally charged quest. And the resolution is really, really satisfying. Great story.

Girl Walks Into a Bar by Rachel Dratch (2012)

Subtitled: Comedy Calamities, Dating Disasters, and a Midlife Miracle.

I have a love-hate relationship with memoirs/humorous essay books written by comedians. However, I was surprised to find that I rather liked this one. (I should have been able to tell by the excellent subtitle alliteration.)

The beginning is a bit of inside dish on being a non-traditional looking actress in Hollywood who rather publicly got replaced on a major television show (30 Rock). The next part is about dating in New York, which is deliciously traumatizing, and the third is about finding herself unexpectedly pregnant in her early forties. Through the entire book, and all of her memoirs, she is wonderfully self-aware, and the book is well-organized and funny. Good stuff!

March: Book One by John Lewis, Andrew Aydin, Nate Powell (2013)

Okay, so you should know: Don't read this without having the second one close at hand. It leaves off on a total cliffhanger. And you will just need to know what is going to happen. 

This graphic novel follows the life of John Lewis, from young sharecropper child living in segregated Alabama to studying to be a preacher to getting involved with Dr. King and SNCC. Set with a poignant framing device of him getting ready (as a congressman) for the inauguration of Barack Obama, it looks back in full detail at his past. 

It's incredibly sweet and heart-rending--brought me to tears and made me really want to learn more about his work, the civil rights movement, and visit Atlanta's many civil rights museums. Fascinating and incredibly emotional.  Followed by a second volume, which will make you long for the yet-to-be released third.

Gabriel: A Poem by Edward Hirsch (2014)

Lovely memoir in poetry about Edward Hirsch's son, who passed away from an overdose. 

The poem starts at Gabriel's funeral and goes through his death as well as Gabriel's very troubled life. Lyrical and sad, and very thoughtful about grief.

I adore this quote:

"I did not know the work of mourning
Is like carrying a bag of cement
Up a mountain at night ….
Look closely and you will see
Almost everyone is carrying bags
Of cement on their shoulders
That's why it takes courage
To get out of bed in the morning
And climb into the day." (p. 73)

Hyperbole and a Half by Allie Brosh (2013)

Subtitled: Unfortunate Situations, Flawed Coping Mechanisms, Mayhem, and Other Things That Happened

Although I'd recommended and given it to a bunch of people, I was compelled to finally read it after listening to Allie Brosh's fascinating conversation with Marc Maron on the WTF podcast--one of the best discussions I've ever heard on depression.

This book is hilarious and honest and amazingly insightful into what depression feels like. Even her dog comics are adorable.  Beautifully, beautifully done.

Really. What else can be said!  Buy her book and give it to everyone you know.  Also, you should check out her blog as well, particularly:

Adventures in Depression

Depression: Part Two

And remember:

As You Wish by Cary Elwes (2014)

Absolutely charming memoir about making The Princess Bride, subtitled "Inconceivable Tales from the Making of The Princess Bride."

A fun look at all the ins and outs of movie making, from casting to promotion, written with lots of love and fond memories. Memories by other cast members are interspersed within the narrative, lending a little different view to the proceedings. And who can ever get enough Andre the Giant stories?  Not me for sure.

Elwes is humble, grateful, and marvelously charming. Just adorable.

Not That Kind of Girl by Lena Dunham (2014)

Most actress's memoirs--particularly if they are comic in tone--I find a bit facile and uneven. They tend to be loosely strung together collections of anecdotes.

However, you have to hand it to Dunham:  She tells it like it is.  I love the subtitle: A young woman tells you what she's "learned". She tells it warts and all, no writerly airbrushing or image enhancement to make her sound better.  

She's amazingly insightful but also amazingly self-aware. I can't help but like and admire her. This was a wonderfully enjoyable book.  Also, there are little sketchings in the book that give it the feel of a midcentury book on etiquette or relationships--and at the end, you find out the artist is her good friend that she refers to through the book.  And it's funny:  

"When I was born I was very fat for a baby--eleven pounds (which sounds thin to me now).  I had three chins and a stomach that drooped to one side of my stroller.  I never crawled, just rolled, an early sign that I was going to be resistant to most exercise and any sexual position that didn't allow me to relax my back." 

How can you not love that?

Dead End Gene Pool: A Memoir by Wendy Burden

I picked this up in a used bookstore based on the intriguing cover and it paid off in every way possible.  This is a memoir about the descendants of a very, very wealthy family (Vanderbilt), and how things went terribly wrong.

Wendy Burden writes unsparingly and hilariously about her very wealthy and very dysfunctional family.  From visiting her grandparents' estate on an island to only occasionally seeing her flighty, hippie mother, this is a fascinating look at the 1% and how things can go terribly wrong no matter how much money you have.  

But above all, it is utterly hilarious.  I didn't write much about it when I read it, but DANG, it's good.  You should read it.  I mean, look at that awesome cover!

Glitter and Glue: A Memoir by Kelly Corrigan (2014)

Kelly Corrigan begins this memoir, her second, with a discussion of her mother's cancer diagnosis. This triggers the memory of a trip she took in her youth to Australia, and the job that she took there to stay in the country.

She became a nanny for a widower with two children, who had recently lost their mother to cancer. As she struggles with becoming a caregiver, she hears her mother's voice in her head. A very subtle, poignant and sweet memoir that focuses on her realization of the impact that her mother (the "glue" of the title) had on her as she grew to adulthood.

Side note: I read it as an e-book from the library and placed 'notes' on a couple of pages I rather liked. However, as the book expired and disappeared from my 'bookshelves' so did the notes, darn it.

This is a lovely book about Corrigan's relationship with her mother, and when she began to stop taking her mother for granted. Here are a couple of quotes I just loved:

"The fact is, lately it seems like the only person who can lift the anvils that sit heaviest on me is my mother. It didn't happen all at once. Maybe it was inevitable, something that develops as daily life delivers its sucker punches, streaks of clarity, and slow-dawning wisdoms." (p. 8)

"The only mothers who never embarrass, harass, dismiss, discount, deceive, distort, neglect, baffle, appall, inhibit, incite, insult, or age poorly are dead mothers, perfectly contained in photographs, pressed into two dimensions like a golden autumn leaf." (p. 56)